Subtitle: A handy response to all those unsolicited "helpful suggestions."
There's a drawing of a dotted line box and inside it reads:
Dear blank: Circle one
a. Friend of a friend; b, Random stranger I met on the Subway; c, Second cousin by marriage of my mother's uncle; d, Primary Care Physician:
Thank you so much for your brilliant insight that: (circle all that apply): a, Exercise: b, blue-green algae; c, positive thinking; d, developing a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, e, Risky experimental surgery not covered by insurance; f, Other (fill in the blank) --
could cure me of my long-term (circle one): illness-slash-disability.
My life has been transformed. I feel better already. If only I had met you (fill in blank) years ago. Please: (circle one): publish -slash-post on the internet your suggestion(s) so that others may benefit.
And to think that all these years I have been (circle all that apply): a, sitting on my butt; b, twiddling my thumbs; c, paying expensive specialists to tell me there's nothing they can do for me; d, lying awake nights in needless pain.
You have given me the will to heal. See you on the slopes!
Signed, Gratefully (your name here) Circle one: ex-crip slash ex-sickie.
End of text. The cartoon has a pink border with drawings of people around it. One, a woman waving and saying, "vitamins! I can see!" beside her is her guide dog, looking puzzled. Another cartoon shows a woman on skis in the mountains, saying "All those years wasted in bed when I could have been skiing." There's a man in a wheelchair thinking, "Hummm, positive thinking. Nah, that will never work." Finally, there's a drawing of a card that reads, Get well soon, or be eternally damned."
End of cartoon.